TABS and SQUIRRELS
I have about 23,436 tabs open at the moment.
Ever have that feeling? Right now, t’s a feeling that is a mix of anticipation, excitement, and procrastination.
I’ve been doing a lot of resolution work to heal from C-PTSD/ADHD symptoms that have held me back all my life. Suddenly, it’s like ALL the floodgates are open and EVERYTHING wants to be done at the same time.
Creativity on Overload. For me, it’s a fun problem, as in the past it just felt completely stuck and blank… and angry.
I’d have to say that these days, the anger, resentment, and insecurity have drained out of me. It’s a beautiful, wonderful feeling to be free from all of it. And it comes with the price of wanting to experience all there is, all at once. And with my ADHD, that sometimes brings some… Oh! Squirrel! moments. Now, “Oh! Squirrel!” isn’t quite the way most people think it is… Instead of just being distracted, it is a sudden need to study said squirrel: how it climbs, what it’s saying as it chitters at me, how it gets into that nest- where’s the door?, how do they find their nuts?, why don’t I see small squirrels when they are young- why are they always showing up adult squirrel size (btw, my son and I saved some orphaned baby squirrels years ago and they were so cute… we took them to a rehabilitator after a day or so, but while we had them, they were ADORBS!)… See how it’s not just, “Oh! Squirrel!”
Anyway, 56 year’s worth of creative and fun ideas run through my head and all want to be seen at once and my executive functioning isn’t quite trained enough to put it all in place.
But that day is coming. I keep telling myself that in a year, things will be very different for me and Beecken of Light and that’s pretty exciting.
So, bear with me as I learn how to negotiate a world with a higher vibing vision and energy. There’s lots coming, just gotta put those dang squirrels to work.
TABS and SQUIRRELS